Assholes and Jack o Lanterns

At least once a month I can guarantee I'll regret every word that makes it out of my mouth just for the bitch factor. I know it's happening but I never manage to stop the flow of nastiness.

Today I got to watch that shit happen to someone else. Except he either didn't notice his inner asshole coming out to play, or he was hoping nobody else would notice the smell.

Remember the scooter? My co-supervisor says he's not going to keep the key in it any longer since it goes missing on him all the time. All the time being exactly once.

He also said that if I want to use it "I should ask for the key".

Really dude? I know you're Mennonite and all - but I'm not. I don't wear the dress, and I do shave my legs (when I feel like it). I'm not willing to act as if you are in any way superior to me, simply because you have a penis. I happen to have a vagina and I'm not afraid to say the word vagina just to chase you out of a room.

Don't hold your breath waiting for me to ask for that key, I'll be too busy trying to avoid the smell of asshole.

Since we're talking assholes....

Asshat #1 carved pumpkins with his girlfriend last night and now she knows that normal doesn't happen at my house.

Pumpkin number one is a vagina. I'm kind of impressed the kid knew what a labia was.

He actually blushed while he was stabilizing his pumpkin genitals with a finger in the pumpkin vagina.

After years of drawing sharpie marker dick pics on his brother's back it wasn't much surprise when the second one looked like this.

Makes me glad we don't get any trick-or-treators.