Why Yeah Write is the best community on the internet.

My first Yeah Write challenge was Challenge #55. I've been hooked ever since.

It was a different blog, and I was a baby blogger. Not a blogger who blogs about babies, but a newbie.

Completely green to the blogging world. 

I had absolutely no concept of how to write a post that people wanted to read. Even less idea of how to craft a post that made people want to come back and read what I had to say the next day. My kids were mostly grown. My life consisted of the regular every day ho hum that every mom lives. Work, supper, house work and just life. No special skills, no fashion sense and no time for crafts.

What the hell am I going to blog about? What is my shtick?

Well guess what? Erica, the curator of Yeah Write is a huge fan of the short story. One of the things that participating in the Yeah Write link up will teach you is how to tell a compelling story.

That's what bloggers do - we take a single minute from our day or event from our past, and tell the story. We give it a beginning, a middle and an end. We flesh out the details, while eliminating the noise in the background. Yeah Write teaches you how to hone that post down and cut the clutter.

You don't need the back story to tell the main story. If you do it right, the main story will stand alone. 

Telling the story is only part of the blogging experience, once we've told it then we pray someone will read it and comment on it.

That is another thing that participating in Yeah Write will give you. It's not a willy nilly link-up. Participants are capped at 50. Period. In order to participate - you must be willing to read the posts your fellow challenge members have linked.

Every single one of them.

Up to 50 of them, and let me tell you when I first started linking up with Yeah Write the grid was half full by the time you woke up the next morning. Bloggers stayed awake until 12:01, just to claim their spot on the grid.

To bring you the most page views possible another rule of Yeah Write is your post must be dated the Sunday prior to the grid opening. Does that seem too picky to you?

Consider this - I publish a post and my people (I love being able to say that) read it. Two weeks later I link it up on a blog hop. My people have already read it, they aren't going to read it again to see I linked up to Yeah Write or any other blog hop. But if I publish a post written specifically for Yeah Write with that Yeah Write badge already on it - my people might be intrigued. Maybe they'll have a little extra time come Tuesday morning and click that badge to see what it's all about.

Only there you are also with your thumbnail on the grid, and since there's still a little coffee left in their cup they click your link. Maybe it's someone who's never seen your blog before or maybe they saw a post once and didn't feel it that time. Only now, you've got your very best of the week linked up to Yeah Write and they're all "Wow! How come I'm not already following this blogger?"

That's one part of the Yeah Write spirit.

The other part? We vote, but Yeah Write is not a popularity contest. Sure nobody can 100% control the internet, but Erica has come up with some pretty clever ways to make sure that the winners are truly the ones with the most skill.

For starters - each person gets to vote for five bloggers. So maybe you vote for a blogger that you read regularly, but you've still got four votes left. Should you choose to use them, you're going to vote for the posts that somehow hit with you. Some weeks, you wish you had more votes.

Most weeks as I read my way through the grid the five that should be top (in my opinion) jump out at me. Always, at least 3 of my 5 votes are in the top five. They might not even be bloggers that I would normally read - but they brought their A game and that's what counts on the Yeah Write grid.

They're the ones who write a post that grabs me from the first sentence. They're the ones who tell a story I can follow to the end - no matter what the subject is or whether the tone matches my typical style. If you are a reader, you recognize good writing when you see it. You will see a lot of it at Yeah Write.

Come join in the spirit of Yeah Write - it's their 100th challenge grid and for the month of March they're celebrating turning two. Hang out, browse a bit - I promise you'll meet at least one blogger worth following.

If your very best this week is 500 words or less and tells a compelling story, consider linking up.

If you want proof that participating in Yeah Write will help you grow as a writer, consider this - my first Yeah Write challenge post. I'm amazed they let me join the fun.

Best hump day without a hump ever!

Remember the lift-truck certification I was supposed to do today?

I was nearly sick over it this morning. For the first 3 hours I was at work I was ready to burst into tears over the slightest thing. FYI - there may have been a little PMS happening too.

I went for the written part, and found out the actual drive-test would have to be another day. The trainer was off sick.

When I told my co-supervisor? He informed me he knew that first thing in the morning. No need to send flowers - he should be fine by tomorrow.

In other news - for the past week I've been working some long hours. Today, salvation arrived.

In the form of 8 boisterous, loud and fast as hell Jamaican ladies.

I knew last night they were going to be here, so I mentioned to one of our year-round workers (who is from Barbados but refers to herself as Jamaican) that for sure we were going to get out of there by 5 tonight.

She told me Don't hang your hat too high.

I only hung it a little too high - we were done at 6, but I don't have to go in until 7 tomorrow.

Sold!

Work just got fun y'all.

In addition to their lovely fast as hell selves - they came bearing gifts.

That green ribbon at the bottom of the label? It says OVERPROOF RUM.

I might take some Advil before I drink that.

Just to round of this lovely hump day even if there's nary a hump in sight? 

That's right - I'm on Scary Mommy! 5 Ways Teens Are Grosser Babies!

Don't forget to come back on the weekend to link up for Weekend Funnies #2.

Coming Clean

Last night The Polish guy and I were showering. No I did not pee on his foot this time. I save that for special occasions.

The Polish Guy: Hey watch it! You're pushing me into the wall and it's cold. Look I'm all shriveled up!

So I looked down and things appeared as usual to me. I had a good laugh.

The Polish Guy: Don't be putting that in your blog.

Me: Well of course it's going in the blog. It was funny.

I'm a blogger. That's what I do - I take stuff that happens in my life and tell the world, or at least the small part of it that reads my blog, all about it.

While My Half Assed Life may be just a couple of months old, I've been blogging for a year now. Almost always anonymously.

At first because it was a new endeavor. Who knew if it would be any good or if I would completely suck.

I kept the anonymous going though because I also need to work for a living. At my last position I knew at any time my neck could be under the axe. That's what happens when you are working for a struggling company. So why give them any ammunition to use against me?

Then I was struggling to find other employment. Hopefully with an employer that didn't want me to sign my soul away for nothing in return.

I've found that employer. Along with a ton of blogging material. Blogging material that will mostly will never make it here. Not because it isn't funny - because a lot of it is hysterical - but because I've had enough HR training to know what constitutes grounds for dismissal and it's time to get smart about that.

So I've done a review of my posts. Some are gone for good. Some may be edited and republished, if the story itself is salvageable without those pesky concerns of losing my job.

Also gone? The anonymous part. So while I won't be broadcasting my full mailing address and how I sign my checks just yet, from now on you'll be seeing me as Vanessa D. Some of you might appreciate that when I comment on your blogs instead of seeing My Half Assed Life graffitiing up your comments.

That's my name - in real life. Even if Asshat #1 likes to sometimes call me Vicky or when he really wants to annoy me Vagina.

I've even got a Google + profile of sorts. I haven't really dedicated much time to it yet but it's there.

If I know you in real life? You'll probably make it here at some point. Don't worry too much though, I'll try to be gentle.

Thank you's, Sneezing Fits and Trying to Explain Blogging to Non Bloggers.

Today at work I had a sneezing fit. One of the Jamaican ladies told me that in her country, they say if a woman sneezes like that, then some other woman is doing her man. All I could think was Well I hope she can sneeze without crossing her legs, and I told the lady that for as much as I sneezed my man should be walking bow-legged.

That paragraph there, is part of the reason I blog. If you read that you may have chuckled or you may have only smiled, but somehow you reacted. Who knows, maybe you were just disgusted and you'll never read my blog again. In which case it's good we got that out of the way, because there's more where that came from.

Trying to explain blogging to somebody who doesn't blog is kind of impossible.

Non Blogger: Why is your house always such a mess.

Me: Because I work full time and then I blog full time.

My Brain: and because most of the time I really don't give a flying fuck if my house is clean.

Non Blogger: You have a blog? What's your blog about?

Me: Well you know, just the stupid crap that happens during the day and some of the shit my kids do.

Non Blogger: Why would anyone want to read about that.

My Brain: Well obviously you haven't met my kids if you think they can't be entertaining. 

And this is where if you are really lucky and you're writing posts that entertain, your blogging friends will step up and give you a pat on the back and tell you job well done.

Over the past couple of weeks, my blogging friends have done just that and bestowed 4 bloggy awards upon me.

First was Marissa Peterson over at Confessions Of A Failing Domestic Goddess with a Liebster Award. Marissa blogs about life with her 3 kids and 5 dogs and all of her proud and not so proud moments with everything in between.

Next was Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 with another Liebster Award. Jenn describes her blog as partly a mommy blog, but not exclusively. She also likes to complain. Which I do too so can you say serendipity? Jenn is also the hostess with the mostest who provides a Theme Thursday Link Up. It's pretty awesome and you should check it out.

For the Liebster Award I'm supposed to follow some rules.

I'm supposed to tell you 11 random facts about myself.
I'm supposed to answer 11 questions posted by the blogger who gifted me with the award, and create 11 new questions.
I'm supposed to select 11 new bloggers with fewer than 200 followers.

Since the Liebster has been circulating heavily the past couple of weeks I'm going to skip the passing it along part. If you want some great blogs to read, please - check out My Blog Crushes. I only have the 10 who most recently posted showing, but there's more there and there's something for everybody because I'm pretty eclectic in my reading.

Next up was the most intriguing of the awards. It came from Vinny of As Vinny C's It. Vinny has this crisp writing style that always entertains me, whether he's talking about renting ninja's or strange inventions to come out of Japan. If you head over and check it out, you'll see that the appearance of Vinny's blog perfectly matches his writing style - crisp and clean. I've been reading and enjoying Vinny's blog for a while now and it's always a treat for a new post to show up in my reader.

Vinny created a brand new blog award - one with a lot less rules. It's called the Tanned Hide award.

Pretty much, Vinny gave me permission to dole out a spanking to some worthy recipient. Of course the first one to come to mind is Swinger Dude, but I'm afraid he'll enjoy it too much. Once I've administered my spanking, I get to pick up to 3 other bloggers to dole out their own spankings. This one will be in a post soon - I just have to narrow down all the possibilities. Gleefully rubs hands together.

Then today? Another award from Synnøve @ Don't Chew On The Dinner Table. Synnøve gifted me with this award.

It is worth noting that Synnøve claims to love my kids. Which means I'm naming her their guardian should something happen to me. Don't worry Synnøve, I'm sure they'll only be home with me for another decade or so....

This award also comes with some rules but please go check it out for yourself, while you're there check out some of the bloggers she lists. I know I will be.

Thank you! You guys are all great. 

Unexpected Gifts

I've been a reader ever since Grade one. The teacher taught me See Spot Run, and I hit the ground running. As an adult I consume the written word with just as much gluttony as I bring to my other habits. It seemed a natural leap to start blogging.

And I found a whole new world of reading material.

Have you ever read a book and been sad when you finished it? Because it was that good and you were that involved? Blogs never end. I can follow your blog for years, celebrating your triumphs and mourning your losses and always tomorrow or next week or next month there will be another post.

And then you started reading my words. 

There is something inherently vain about writing about the minutes of your day and waiting for someone you don't even know to read about it. Hoping they will comment and begin an interaction. I get a thrill every single time my email tells me I have a new comment. Every new follower sends me over the moon.

And then came the best gift. 

The gift of confidence. No longer am I that girl. The one we all went to school with. That girl that never fit in. The one who couldn't do sports to save her life and instead spent recess with her nose buried in a book. No longer am I that girl who tries to hide in plain sight, the one who never participates in the conversations around her. 

Now I walk taller because I want you to see me. I have more strut in my stride because people like what I have to say. I join conversations because if I can make you laugh here, surely I can make you laugh in person.

That is the greatest gift. Thank you.

Not The First Time

So the truth is this is not my first time around the blogging block. I already had a blog that was starting to collect a very modest following. But it wasn't letting me be all of me for a lot of reasons.

The first time around, I was so anxious to gain any kind of following that I was chasing my family to read it. Then I would post something and they would comment. With their first and last names and as relatives - somehow making it obvious we were related and what that relationship was. Then I would be up all night reading back through posts because I am paranoid about keeping my on-line life seperate from my real life.

The first time around, I tried to wear a persona when I was posting. Only some days I didn't feel like putting that persona on. So I didn't post. Sometimes for a long time I didn't post. The first time around was all about crusty exterior - only some days I'm gooey centre - only never the orange cream kind `cause I hate that shit.

The first time around, I had a rigid format and what I wanted to say didn't always work with it. And like trying to make up your own lyrics to a song, if the words don't fit right they jangle instead of jingle.

This time around? I feel like a whole lot of possibilities are in front of me and it's all new and exciting. I think it's gonna fit.