You promised me I would use 28% less water to shower, while not noticing a thing because of your Optiflow technology. Your spray setting was so gentle, I added an extra five minutes to my allotted shower time. Still it wasn't enough time to get all of the conditioner out of my hair. You promised me three pulsating jets on your massage setting, yet only provided enough water to run them one at a time. And like a first time lover, before I could say there's the spot, your one single stream would move! Worse still there was no pulsating action, not even a bit.
January 4th is the day I installed this hand held shower from hell. Today I decided enough was enough. I work in a 55 degree packhouse all day. I deserve a decent hot shower damn it. So I stopped at the hardware store on my way home.
I picked the one that wasn't Water Pic, even if it was that shitty looking plastic chrome. After an hour long battle to get the packaging open, I checked to see if I could just replace the handle. Of course it doesn't fit in the bracket for the Water Pic. Of course. So I tried to untwist the bracket from the shower pipe bare handed. No luck.
I dug around in the bathroom vanity and found the channel locks. Yes they were in the vanity, I've told you about the asshats right? I need them handy in the bathroom. Also? Tools don't seem to like high humidity, those suckers need some oil.
Using the channel locks I try to unscrew the bracket from the pipe. They skid right around, doing nothing to loosen the bracket. Then I remember.
Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Asshole.
I get the old bracket off and look at the new bracket. I notice something very different on the new one.
I can see right through this one. On the old one there's a piece blocking it. Ah ha! I've found the fucking "Optiflow". With my trusty channel locks, I pulled that mother effer right out.
But wait, there's still something in there. So I go digging in the buffet for a nail, and using the channel lock as a mini hammer I knocked out the rest of the fucking "Optiflow".
Then I reassembled the Water Pic and installed it again. I just had the best damn shower I've had since January 4th.
You triumphed! Good job!
ReplyDeleteWhen my cousin lived with me, we preferred different shower settings on the shower head, and it was always so annoying having to reset it every time! I'm glad to have it all to myself again :)
And I have an award for you on my blog :)
Thank you Kianwi!
DeleteI'm just glad to have a shower that actually lets some water through finally!
All I understood was first shower bad now good! I sort of glazed over the whole how you achieved it, I am no DIY person - just kick it until it works. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI get that eye glaze, but it's good to be able to do for yourself. Plus I avoided having the whole fake looking plastic chrome taking up residence.
DeleteWoo Hoo score one for the DIY adjustment society!
ReplyDeleteThank you - it was fantastic to get a real shower instead of trying to rinse in a trickle.
DeleteI still say you missed your calling by not being a plumber.
ReplyDeletePossibly - but plumbers never look after their own plumbing. Which is why I know so much about it. The ex is a plumber. Supposedly a damn fine one too, not that you could ever tell by my house.
DeleteYes, hot showers are the greatest things ever. I always hate staying in a hotel where the shower is like that. Low flow, water won't stay warm, no setting between take your skin off and mist. Yeah. Never underestimate the power of a good shower.
ReplyDeleteAfter over a month of barely trickling water it was divine.
DeleteAnd here I was being all proud of myself when I changed a washer without flooding the house...
ReplyDeleteYes, but did you forget the righty tighty lefty loosey rule? Because I did and now the part that screws onto the shower pipe is all gouged up.
DeleteFrom one amateur plumber to another - awwwwwwesome!
ReplyDeleteIt was the most divine shower I've had in over a month. No make that months because the one before was total shit too. I think tonight I'm even going to clean the bathroom before my shower, just so I can have an utterly divine shower in a clean bathroom.
DeleteYou rule! I'd've been scared of breaking something critical.
ReplyDeleteI had back up though - the fugly plastic chrome one.
DeleteYay!! I love it when good triumphs over evil!! Low flow showers are the absolute worst! I totally respect that you had not only the tools to make the modification, but you recognized which parts had to be yanked out and destroyed! Well done!
ReplyDeleteIf they had gone for say 10% less water they might have been successful. Going for 28% less was obviously too much of a stretch. Now if they made one that let you secretly change it from 28% less when your kids take their 30 minute showers, but switch back to 10% for your own reasonable 10 minute shower I would be all over that.
DeleteHooray for your plumbing prowess!! Enjoy your nice hot shower!
ReplyDeleteLast night's was divine and I'm happily anticipating tonight's. Saving money does not trump a good shower.
DeleteWe have one of those "rain shower" shower heads since we completely remodeled the bathroom. The trouble isn't in the flow, but the hot water. Even after having a plumber friend do some fiddly thing to the hot water heater that "guarantees" unlimited hot water the zookeeper can't understand one basic concept...when the water coming into the house is only barely above freezing, no hot water heater can possibly keep up.
ReplyDeleteMeaning if you are not the first person to shower, you get a seriously awesome stream of fricking cold water to rinse the conditioner out of your hair. And when you live in a household that has five women...your ass better be the first one in the shower.
I struggle scheduling the bathroom time for two. Five would send me over the edge. I think I would call dibs on 5 am, let the other two sort themselves out.
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