It's survival of the fittest folks. The only ones who make it to the altar are the ones who haven't killed each other.
Honestly, I'm aware that I am seeing the sweetest man on earth. Really I am.
But - after four years of
Take for instance chewing. I know, we all do it. But - it fucking annoys me to the point that chewing near me is part of the Asshat's arsenal to drive me bat shit crazy.
Since we aren't married (or living together - which if you ask me is the same damn thing) the boyfriend and I have separate addresses, so if I finally lose my shit and ask him "Do you have to chew so loud right in my ear?" somebody will be going home that night.
Asking do you have to chew so loud = no sexy time. Need I say more?
Then there is the whole memory issue.
Men who are co-habitating with a woman on a daily basis would KNOW after 4 years that she has a better memory. Take for instance this recent conversation when he called me on his lunch break.
Yes I know it's incredibly sweet that he takes 5 minutes to call me on his 20 minute lunch, but he is still wrong.
Boyfriend: It happened eight years ago.
Me: No, it was just four years ago.
Boyfriend: Oh, it was was it (in THAT tone)
Me: It was right after Gary died.
Boyfriend: Yeah, eight years ago.
Seriously folks. I renewed my mortgage for a five year term right after we started dating. It isn't due until 2014, and Gary died after we started dating but before I renewed my mortgage.
Me: We'll talk about it when you get home. Try to have a good night.
Who do you think is right?
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"Happy Wife, Happy Life". ;)
ReplyDeleteBecause it keeps husbands humble I say! I have no idea if we'll ever make the wife/husband point. I just know that 90% of the time I'm in awe that somehow this man is in my life. The other 10% of the time I want to choke him.
DeleteOf course we're always right ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd even when we aren't they should just nod their heads and agree - right?
DeleteI think marriage is having the strength not to bludgeon the other person with a toaster on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteEven in the best marriages I think this is true.
DeleteEven when we are wrong, we are still right. :)
ReplyDeleteMarriage totally and completely blows. It just does. But we all do it, so we might as well settle in for the ride and make the most of it. I found you by blog hopping. I love your tagline; hilarious! I'm trying to follow, but my computer is being an a-hole. I promise I will get back to it when this thing speeds up a little bit. Check me out at www.trashyblog.com if you're so inclined!
ReplyDeleteHonestly? I still believe in happily ever after. I'm just practical enough to know that happily ever after does not mean happy 24/7.
DeleteIs it really something that is worth arguing over? Yes, we have better memories, but not everything is worth making sure they know we're right.
ReplyDeleteOf course it wasn't worth arguing over - that's why I blogged about it instead! ;-)
DeleteOh God...the chewing.... THE CHEWING! It will and has driven me to the car and then fueled my three hour drive around the city just to get away from it. News flash ::THE FOOD IS DEAD ALREADY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO REKILL IT WITH YOUR MOLARS::
ReplyDeleteNow I'm tense.
I might need a xanax
Nose whistling. Nose whistling makes me run for the divorce courts. Blow it. Snort it. Pick it... I don't care. Just quit with the damn nose whistling.
ReplyDeleteNose whistles are not cool.
DeleteSurvival of the fittest - haha! I love it. My husband hums when he's annoyed with something (like the toddler is whining and he goes "hmm, hmm, hmm" with this pursed lip expression). It irritates me so much I want to throw something at him. He hasn't done it recently since I snapped and shrieked, "If you're mad, just say so. Don't start that damn humming!"
ReplyDeleteIt's impossible to spend a lot of time with someone and not find at least one thing they do aggravating.
DeleteI think if you've never woken up in the middle of the night trying to choke the life out of your significant other, then you don't know each other well enough yet.
ReplyDeleteThere's always something isn't there?
DeleteHi, I’m Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (http://annesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com), and I’m visiting from Finding the Funny.
DeleteI could swear I had that as a word problem in algenra in high school.
Do you write text books?
Haha! Men...
It does look like a word problem doesn't it? I always use events to remember how long ago something happened, since I never think to write things down on a calender.
Delete