Mother Effing PMS Party.

The Swinger was off sick Monday and Tuesday.

Yesterday he was back to work.

Ladies, I see your I lived through my husband's Man-Cold and raise you a I lived through The Swinger's Man-Cold.

Poor guy. He hasn't had kids of his own so he didn't know about the most common side effect of taking antibiotics. I would almost feel bad for him, IF he had not found it necessary to give a play by play of his diarrhea.

So after a full day of spreading his plague and pestilence germs around, he called in sick again.

Call it sexism if you want, but we have guy jobs and girl jobs. It really has more to do with avoiding repetitive strain injuries than anything else - so please don't get your panties in a bunch.

I've been wanting to use that expression in a blog post forever!

So now I have to do a quick shuffle of people, because I've used up one of my guys on lift truck duty.

All while my line leader is throwing a hissy fit because the line-up changed. Which prompted her to start shooting out demands like I was wearing a sure I'll be your bitch today sign around my neck.

In the midst of trying to satisfy her demands and squelch my urge to stick my foot up her arse (that's prohibited for some reason) I remember I forgot to turn the effing stacker on. The controls are on the other side of the line.

So I hot-foot it the quarter mile or so I have to go to get to the other side. On the way I managed to ignore my fear of escalators and take the short cut across this baby.

I mean sure I knew it wasn't on (since I had forgotten to turn it on) but those are still chains capable of moving a fully loaded pallet. I see your fear of escalators and raise you one pallet mover.

Then while I was running across the valley of death, another freaking cat-fight erupts. This one even more ridiculous than the last one.

What the frig is going on? Was it a full moon last night because it was like a mothereffing PMS party. 

I told them both to cut it out. They listened as well as the Asshats - so not at all. I had to walk down both sides of the effing half mile long line - again - and tell them to cut it out. Finally, at one minute to the break buzzer, I told them I would see them both in my office after break, because by this time I sure as hell wasn't delaying my smoke to deal with this shit.

After break they were both told to zip it and leave their personal crap at home. I also may have told them that they were no longer in high school and this shit is not acceptable at work. Then I sent them back to work - at opposite ends of the place.

Not five effing minutes later, one has to go to the washroom and of course walks by the other and the screeching continues.

As I'm in my office writing up their warnings, my boss decides to drop by and make chit chat about how the job is going.

Timing is everything dude, and yours was a bit off today.


You know what could make me feel a whole lot better about my day? A vote from you. It'll be just like a great big hug, so go vote for me at Circle of Mom's Top 25 Funny Mom's contest. Maybe get your friends and family to vote too - since I'm nowhere near my goal of making it into the top 100. You can vote your favorites every day until February 13th. 

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