Then Asshat #1 goes and gets himself a puppy. A German Shepherd puppy to be exact.
Me: What the hell are you doing, I told you I don't want another dog in the house!
Asshat #1: Don't worry, I've got enough saved for a down payment on a house and I'll be moving out at the end of the month.
And one month later he did buy a house. He gets possession in November and I have plans for his bedroom. I also have plans for all the free time I will have once my laundry gets reduced by 60%.
Meanwhile though, I'm still knee deep in animals and assholes. First my dog went through this neurotic jealous phase where he glued himself to my leg. Try and get anything done with 60 pounds of dog afraid you don't love him anymore. I dare you.
Also fun is trying to navigate a very small house with two dogs playing and two Asshats being themselves.
In the shuffling of dogs in and out of the house for washroom breaks Miss Kitty has decided she will be an indoor outdoor cat from now on.
This is fine (or will be as long as I get her spayed very soon) except she's developed a fondness for napping in my car.
Yes, I do leave my car window down and yes I've had a wet ass many times.
So last night when I was nearer my destination than I was to home and I saw her head pop up in the rearview mirror I kept going. All was well until I was almost home again. First she tried to climb into my lap. Since I'm sure that would be more of a distraction than say driving and texting, I shooed her into the back seat.
Miss Kitty: Mwack!
Asshat#2: She just puked.
Me: No she didn't, she just meowed.
Miss Kitty: Mwack!
Asshat#2: I'm telling you, she just puked in your back seat.
So yes, cats do get car sick but at least she didn't puke in my purse. Or shit all over like any cat I've taken to the vet ever.
When she attempted to jump in the car with me this morning when I was leaving for work I made the time to cart her majesty off to the house.
Do you ever wonder if a cat would drown itself drinking from a dripping tap?
I think it's possible they might.
Congrats on the house and 60% less laundry! Woo hoo! AND an extra room! Win/win/win!! Yay YOU! :D
ReplyDeleteI would be lying if I said that I had doubts I would ever see this day over the years. Somehow we made it through though and the guy is on his way to being launched and with all his body parts intact.
DeleteI DREAM of the day our kids are able to buy their own house!!! Talk about Karma coming around to get them! Do you think he'll bring his laundry over? Ours keep coming... with laundry.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I've been setting aside money in savings bonds for him over the years. He will have enough to get his own washer and dryer. I will gift him with all the permanently musty smelling towels I have.
DeleteWho doesn't love less laundry? Seriously it's just the husband and me and I am still like how did both laundry baskets get full again!? Is the dog wearing clothes now?
ReplyDeleteI will probably still do laundry every day - it's a compulsion at this point - but at least the loads will be smaller and quicker to fold. I will also still have clean towels in the house the day after.
DeleteMaybe, if someone were to "accidentally" turn the tap on. You do realize, it takes a little while for a guy to settle into a routine sometimes? You're only assuming your laundry goes down 60%, or any percent. Besides, I bet you'll miss the new puppy, even if it's just a little. The kid too.
ReplyDeleteBoth the puppy and the kid are welcome to come visit anytime. I might even be willing to order a pizza or on special occasions cook him dinner.
DeleteThat is too cute. I'm sorry about the puke, but the thought of a cat stowing away in a car just tickles me.
ReplyDeleteIt was tickling me too - right up until the "mwack!" It still beats the time my dog yacked up cat poop in my back seat - on an occasion where I did not have time to turn around.
DeleteGetting rid of the laundry alone will be a godsend! My kids are dying for a pet, and I am strongly resistant! This post did not help me feel more on board with it! ;)-Ashley
ReplyDeleteLaundry - if I skip a day I drown in it. I partly blame the front load washer that takes an hour to wash a load of laundry.
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