fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: Skittles and further proof I can be an asshole.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Skittles and further proof I can be an asshole.


During a conversation I was mentioning that I needed to pace myself when alcohol is involved otherwise I can be an asshole. My 18 year old said "you always are an asshole, you just let it out when you've been drinking"

I couldn't even get mad because it sounded suspiciously true.


***

When The Skittle Man was interviewed, I kept wondering at the odd odor I was smelling. By odd, I mean stinky. For some reason I looked down at the floor and realized he was wearing socks and sandals. He was also wiggling his toes and wafting foot odor towards me.

All of his references indicated he was a reliable steady worker. Since closed toe shoes are mandatory at work, he was hired.

The Skittle Man hadn't worked for some time, so his first day - and it was a long one - left him dripping sweat. I thought for sure he wouldn't show up for a second day, but he did. My co-supervisor complained that he hadn't showered yet on the third day.

At the end of the week, he was asking me some questions. His breath was awful, but then we aren't allowed water on the pack house floor for food safety so bad breath can be expected. I increased my personal space bubble by at least a foot.

And then it happened.

I opened my mouth to say something and tasted his breath - from two feet away!

On Monday, I related the experience to my co-supervisor. He laughed, but I really don't think he believed me. Towards the end of the day, I saw Skittle Man corner him and start talking. Then I saw my co-supervisor say something - and make the eew face.

I asked him what happened.

Him: I tasted it.

Yesterday I saw my co-supervisor get cornered again.  Skittles! Taste the rainbow! popped into my head and hasn't left yet.

So yeah I'm usually an asshole.

But even assholes laugh at googly eyes.


13 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. My brother went through my niece's room after she left for college and put googly eyes on all of her posters, pictures, figurines, etc., to "surprise" her (read: freak her out) when she came home the first time. Good times.

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  2. LOL! It's a hard one to navigate, trying to tell a workmate that they've got bad breath or body odour. At my work we tell HR and let them break the bad news :D

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    Replies
    1. He just went through his food safety training so starting Monday, poor hygiene will be addressed.

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  3. This sounds like my brother-in-law, who is always greasy and gross smelling . . .

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    Replies
    1. It makes you wonder about the people who are willing to sleep with them.

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  4. Yuck! At least the cute tomatos make up for it!

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  5. The socks and sandals part most people would have a problem with, most people would not walk around thinking "Skittles! Taste the rainbow!"

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  6. If rainbows taste like that I think we need to stop polluting the skies.

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  7. OMG, that's both hysterical and disgusting at the same time!!! I have a ridiculous sense of smell, so that would probably make me dry heave!!!

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  8. OMG. Skittles totally ruined the rainbow!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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