I like to try to keep the evil bitch part of my personality on a tight leash. Or at least I like to try. Tonight though, she's trying really hard to slip the leash.
Two weeks ago, The Polish Guy probably saw his life flash before his eyes. I hope the motherfucker wept at the loneliness of it.
He was up North at the cottage he shares with his brother. The one I no longer am welcomed at as a guest, but I bet the money hungry asshole would let me rent it!
His brother had bought some sort of ATV on Kijiji and not bothered with silly things like brakes. Or a good strong towing cable. You are both idiots - one for calling half-assed good enough, and the other one for not just assuming your brother fucked shit up like he normally does. Polish Guy - you know better by now.
Some sort of accident happened because of this and The Polish Guy wound up under one of the ATV's. Then he got to spend 3 days in Englehart's hospital. Looks good on you and I hope it fucking hurt.
So now he's home with four broken ribs (Oh, I bet that hurts don't it? I hope it does!) and a scraped up face.
Tonight, I'm so fucking mad at him for breaking up with me over who the fuck knows what since he won't say. I bet it's because I didn't clean up after my dog - even though my friend who cut my grass this week is wondering where all the dog shit I haven't had time to clean up since last fall is. Or maybe because I didn't vacuum his house free of dog hair before leaving - buy a decent fucking vacuum and if you want a wife, marry one! Or maybe because I wouldn't do his grocery shopping for him anymore - again if you want the milk, buy the fucking cow.
But anyhow....
I'm so mad at him that I want to sprinkle pepper under his nose until he sneezes while poking him in his broken ribs.
Plus I want a demented clown to tickle his feet for a half hour straight and make him laugh the entire 30 minutes.
Hurts, you fucker, don't it?
Oh and by the way? The dog is really wondering what the fuck is going on. So not only are you mean to women, now you're mean to dogs as well.
Asshole.
Sometimes it's so hard to shut your inner evil-bitch up that it hurts. Like: four broken ribs hurts...
ReplyDeleteIf you really want an evil clown to come tickle his feet until he dies from the pain that the laughter is causing -- I TOTALLY have some leftover Halloween makeup in my cupboard somewhere. I don't have a clown costume, but would gladly stop at Goodwill and buy their oldest, cheesiest 80's stuff and make one out of it!
Just sayin'. He's an asshole for doing that to you and making you hurt like this...
*hugs and love and junk!*
The image of the demented clown is going to impede my ability to sleep. You may have deprived me of a nap, if that helps you think you've garnered a measure of revenge vicariously, I hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteWell since I never get to nap lately sheer jealousy alone makes me want to say good.
DeleteIf you haven't already obtained a life sized clown cardboard cut out and stuck it on the outside of his bedroom window at night, you should really consider it.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately - I made the black out curtains on his bedroom windows. There's no way he would ever even see a glimmer of a shadow.
DeleteAw dang. How about a dart board?
ReplyDeleteSharp things don't belong in my hands right now. Just saying.
DeleteRevenge by demented clown ... I think I like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm casting the clown from Twisted Metal in the role.
DeleteI'm going to have demented clown tickling dreams. I may never sleep again.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it sounds to me like the fucker had those broken ribs coming. And while the very thought of evil clown torture terrifies me, I'd totally allow it under these circumstances. Have at it!! HUZZAH!!
Hugs!
Valerie
Men can be such dick heads! I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through this crap. I'm sorry I've missed a lot the last couple of months. I've not been able to blog or work on my photography. Health issues, but hopefully that's all getting under control. I really hope that this guy suffers the pain he's inflicted on you.
ReplyDeleteWell he's suffering the pain of broken ribs, tons of time on his hands because he can't work and not having anything to do. Fist pump!
DeleteInduced sneezing & laughter for the sake of pain? I love it! All the same, remind me never to piss you off.
ReplyDeleteYes but it took two months for me to get to that pissed off - so the average person is safe.
Deletestumbled into this blog (no, not *that* stumble* the real stumble, as in: head in one direction with great confidence, look to the side for just one second... end up at the bottom of a set of invisible stairs) while following followers of a new blog hop.... 'Backsies is what there is not' you're on her blogroll.
ReplyDeletethink I may stop back here, if you don't mind
*stumble upon
Stumble upon as much as you like - everybody who drops in is appreciated.
DeleteDeath by tickling? seriously? It may work....
ReplyDelete"...but, Your Honor, I was only trying to make him laugh. "
Not death - just looking to even up the suffering a bit.
DeleteObviously karma was on your side... and he has the broken ribs to prove it!
ReplyDeleteRight now, I'm in complete agreement.
Delete