Frito blocked - it's worse than getting cock blocked.

I've had issues with inanimate objects since I was old enough to run the vacuum (grudgingly I'm sure my mother would say). Trying to get that stupid effing retractable cord to retract was always a bitch. I would give it that little tug that was supposed to make the vacuum cleaner suck the cord back up into it's bowels. Inevitably there would be two inches of cord still sticking out of the vacuum's butt, so I would give it another little tug and then have four inches and so it would go until the entire cord was once again pulled out. Pissed off, probably red faced with frustration I would give it one more tug and have the cord retract so violently the plug would try to cut me off at the ankles.

The end of 2013 ran true to form.

First I got Frito blocked. It's kind of like getting cock blocked - only worse. For the longest time plain Frito's have only been available in the full sized bag. For some reason Frito Lay had decreed that the single serving sized bag of Frito's would only be available in barbecue flavor. So I had to resort to buying full sized bags whenever I wanted that greasy fat and salt laden treat. With zero will power of course I ate all the Frito's. Then suddenly the vending machine at work had single serve bags of Frito's. I still ate all the Frito's but only one serving (per day at least). Then came the day I was craving greasy salty goodness and went to the vending machine to find this.

In behind that bag of Hickory Sticks - which are NOT Frito's - is an entire row of single serve bags of Frito's. Plain Frito's in all their salty greasy non-barbecue flavor. That bag of Hickory Sticks mocked me for two fucking weeks and would still be mocking me if the guy who restocks the vending machine hadn't rearranged things.

Then I bought a car. Getting rid of my old car should have put an end to the vehicular mockery. With it went the cracked windshield, the worn out wheel bearings and the bad back brakes.

I was in love and I thought it was mutual, until the first snow arrived. Which is when I discovered that my car is the biggest pussy in the snow ever. It has traction control that seems to help not at all. I do know it pisses me off to see that blinking low traction warning as the front end of my car is trying to hump the curb.

Even worse was my first trip to the grocery store after the snow. The trunk was frozen completely shut, so I had to put my groceries in the back seat while all that lovely "you can fit a dead body in here" trunk space remained empty. With no garage it took a couple of days to thaw out and the car mocked me the entire time.

Don't even get me started on my new DVD player that I can't use until I get a new TV.