Mangoes And Poison Ivy - Who Knew?

I do NOT like mango. One time my mother handed me a piece of mango and said "here try this". I am positive it's the meanest thing she ever did to me.

I couldn't spit that shit out fast enough. In fact, I spit it out so fast I can't even tell you what the texture was like, but I can tell you about the taste. It was like having a mouth full of bad breath. Like that smell that was in the borrowed recorder you were forced to try and play in grade school music class, because sure as shit your mom wouldn't buy you your own. Something about 10 bucks being too much to spend on a musical instrument when it was obvious to all there wasn't an ounce of musical talent in me.

You can kind of understand why I don't buy these delicacies right? But I guess the oldest likes them and he bought himself a half dozen of these nasty bad breath tasting fruits.

He has eaten three of them. Then he broke out in a mysterious blistering rash on his lips.

Being enormously germophobic and having a new girlfriend - his first concern was cold sores. Really? I had always assumed he made her cover her mouth with a dental dam before he would kiss her.

If it were a case of cold sores - it would be the most epic herpes infection ever. We are talking the complete surface area of his lips covered in blisters.

Being also enormously hypochondriac - he researched this mystery rash. Surprisingly he hasn't concluded he is dying tomorrow, BUT he did find out that the same thing that causes the rash he gets prolifically when exposed to poison ivy is also in mango peel.

We have 3 mangoes left - anyone want some bad breath to eat?

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