Last night I had an urge to do the unforgivable and let my dog sleep in bed with me. I was feeling just lonely enough that the company and the big body against my back would have been welcome.
I know there are plenty of people who think letting their dog sleep with them is just fine. I'm not one of them.
I mean sure, right now there's no 2 legged man sleeping in my bed (no 3 legged pole vaulter visiting it either) so it seems like no big deal to let the 4 legged one in right? Wrong.
The dog easily has another 10 years in his life span and I sure as hell don't intend to spend the next 10 years with only a dog for company. Having a big body snuggled against your back sounds cozy, but in my experience you usually end up with 4 big paws against your back trying to push your ass off of your own damn bed.
A dog in bed when there's other things to do there is just a mood wrecker. They watch for one thing. Plus they start thinking you are play wrestling and want to get in on the action - hopefully just the wrestling. Next thing you know someone gets a cold nose on their bare ass and the giggling starts.
Once the giggling starts, well you may as well forget all about having some fun because I have yet to meet a penis that can stand proud once the giggling starts. Penises are pretty sensitive like that. You can try to convince a penis you weren't laughing at it, but they seldom believe you.
Anyhow, all this talk of penises and loneliness - I guess it's time to go spend a night at the boyfriends. Unless he has other plans, in which case there's still #wineparty.
Nope. No pets in bed for me. Maybe it's a guy thing, but for two years I got a reminder of what it felt like to have a bed all to yourself again. This was back when my wife worked the night shift at her job. Why would I not want to enjoy that when I can?
ReplyDeleteTrust me, the urge passed as soon as I remembered the 4 big paws trying to push me off the bed. Because that's what dogs do - they will sleep curled up in a ball to take advantage of the cushioning offered by a single plastic grocery bag, but give them real comfort and they try to sprawl over the entire damn queen sized bed.
ReplyDeleteWe just got a puppy and my husband is not one for pets. He's only a tiny dog - but we didn't even start with him getting cozy in the bed. My husband can only barely tolerate him as it is - no need to push that button!
ReplyDeleteTracy @ Momaical
It really is better if you just don't allow it. My dog actually has a crate. I never close it anymore, but he still most nights heads in there to go to bed. Not until after he balls up all of my mats to try and make a nest though.
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