fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: The Hardest Part Was Getting Out of Bed

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Hardest Part Was Getting Out of Bed

Five years ago I used to ride my bike a lot. It was always a handy way to burn off the tension that goes with single parenting teens.

I looked damn good too. Good enough to catch The Polish Guy's eye. So I stopped riding my bike and started riding The Polish Guy.

Riding The Polish Guy was also a handy way to burn off tension. Sadly it wasn't as good for burning calories.  Even more sadly, I'm no longer riding The Polish Guy.

Right now I've got a lot of feelings that need burning off so I bought a new bike. It's the first bike I've ever bought for myself. The original plan was #1 (who has a truck) was going to pick it up for me on Saturday so I could test ride it on Sunday and then ride it to work.

Except Canadian Tire had to build it first. Yep, the bike was in the flyer on sale and they didn't have a single one put together. My son asked if he could just bring it home in the box but apparently building it yourself voids the warranty.

I didn't get the bike until last night, so no test ride to see how long it would take to get to work.

I turned to Google maps. And Google maps gave me some ridiculous routes that I wouldn't even take in a car. Every single one of them required going past where I needed to get to and then backtracking. So I guessed and set my alarm for 4:30 am.

When the alarm went off, I hit the snooze. Repeatedly. At 4:30 am it seems pretty fucking easy to say "tomorrow." Except eventually some part of me said "No! Today asshole." and I got up.

When you live in a country that has winter, the first bike ride of the season is always the hardest. It's the one where your muscles say "you want me to do what?" There were times this morning I worried I would fall over because I was going that slow.

I made it though - and only one minute late. Which kind of sucked since I had planned on being there ten minutes early so I would have time for a cigarette before work.

Yes, I do see the irony there.

Thankfully the wind was with me on the way home, so day one of riding my bike to work is done. I might wait until Friday for day two. 

But day two will come, along with day three and so on. By September my ass will be sitting high and tight.

Eat your heart out Polish Guy.

14 comments:

  1. For me Day 1 is not the problem, it is day 2 when my body revolts and says "I am not getting out of this bed ever again!"

    And if you need an "I've got it worse than you" story, I ride my bike 3 days a week (in a row, grr!) to take my son to school. He rides in a trailer behind me. I am not going to do the pounds to kilos conversion, suffice it to say I am dragging about half my body weight behind me, uphill, both ways! Rain, wind or heat. Ok, most cyclists wouldn't even have to switch gears on the "hills" but I am a wimp.

    One more month to go and then he will be in the school TWO BLOCKS FROM HOME instead of 3 miles.

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    1. Day two for me is usually where my butt wants nothing to ever do with that bicycle seat ever again.

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  2. Now that you mention it, I've never bought a bike for myself. Stolen one? Maybe (the statute of limitations may not be up on that yet. Hey, it was college, allegedly.).
    I have an hour commute, so no way will I be doing the ride to work, but I have passed a guy who has not quit even through Winter and even through extreme weather (dude rode through snow). He gets a lot of credit. This isn't to make you feel bad, but to let you know that, no matter what your legs or that weird part of the back of your brain is telling you, you can do this!

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    1. Thank you! I've seen dedicated cyclists ride in all kinds of weather, so I am going to keep going.

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  3. Good for you. I used to ride my bike all the time when I was a kid and then I somehow forgot how to do it. It is on my bucket list for this year.-Ashley

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    1. It is a pleasant pastime, or at least I think it is. I know lots of people love jogging, but for me bike riding is it. Also, I've never had to worry about wetting my pants while riding a bike. I can't say the same for attempting to go any faster than a walk while on foot.

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  4. OMG, you have a way of telling stories, my friend!

    I can't wait for the day The Polish Guy sees your new, tight, firm ass!

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    1. Oh he'll get to see it - pedaling past his house. Sadly, I also get to see his dreamy shoulders while I'm passing his house. (We live withing walking distance of each other - or at least we do until next year this time when my mortgage is up for renewal)

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  5. Plus you probably have that depression diet going on? I always looking amazing after heartbreak! Silver lining!!

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    1. Yes it does sometimes work like that - if only because the desire to show them what they're missing is so damn strong.

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  6. Every time I see this commercial, I'm thinking about you on your Canadian Tire bike now.

    OH ya, I see you rollin'. :)

    rtsp://v8.cache1.c.youtube.com/CjMLENy73wIaKgkJiX2UiquiYhMYJCAkFEIGbXYtcmltSARSBXdhdGNoYJ6Ghtvgv-rWUAw=/0/0/0/video.3gp

    (I really hope this link works, doing this off my phone.)

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. http://youtu.be/YqKripR9iQk

      maybe this will work better, sorry.

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  7. Good for you! If people still used the phrase, 'You go, girl!' I would totally say that here. But once that phrase went away, I don't know if anything replaced it. Such a shame. So I will say enthusiastically, Good for you!!

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