Being nice is over-rated.

Remember the work phone with the number that gets around? Yes well, it's still giving me headaches.

I rarely get oddball calls on my work phone anymore, so today when it rang and "unknown caller" showed on the display I answered.

Me: Hello, it's Vanessa.

Caller: Hi, I just found this number in my husbands wallet.

Me: Well I don't know what to tell you - this is a work phone.

Caller: A work phone?

Me: Yes, a work phone.

Caller: Oh, Okay.

I hung up and went about my Sunday. I knew it wasn't over though, because I had an idea who the caller was.

Round 2...

Me: Hello, it's Vanessa.

Caller: Hi I called earlier. I'm J's wife.

Me: Okay and?

Caller: Well do you sometimes give him a ride to work?

Me: You're his wife, don't you give your husband a ride to work?

My Brain: While you're taking his paycheck and not giving him any spending money? 

Caller: Well I do, but sometimes he gets a ride. It's just he told me that you're his supervisor and he has your number to sometimes get a ride?

My Brain: Yes, because you're too effing lazy to get out of bed and drive your husband to work. It fucks up my day when I'm down a guy. 

Me: So your husband gave you a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he had my work number and yet here you are calling me because you don't believe him?

Caller: Well um yeah.

Me: Yes, I gave your husband my work number so that if he was ever in a bind he could catch a ride to work with me.

My Brain: And I threatened him with death if his psycho wife ever found out about it and started calling me. 

Caller: Okay, sorry about that.

Me: Have a nice afternoon.

Yep, completely self inflicted. I knew she had a screw loose, but damn I hate having my work day frigged up because some lazy skank couldn't be bothered to get up and drive her husband to work.

And of course it didn't end there...

Then I get the call from the husband with apologies and explanations.

Me: Honestly? Your marital drama is none of my concern. Have a good afternoon. 

And it still isn't over...

Next comes another call from the wife. She sounds drunk or high or who the fuck cares. She starts apologizing.

Me: Can I explain something to you? Sunday is my only day free of work. It's the only day I don't have to think about work. It's my only day to myself - free of worries. I would like to enjoy that day if you don't mind.

Bitch, you don't want to make me flip my bitch switch.