UPS, The Swinger and Ron Jeremy

Getting ready to go back to work after lunch today I stopped at the end of my driveway. I looked left, then I looked right. I let the vehicle coming from the right go by and as I was getting ready to pull out I looked to the left. There was the UPS man flying towards me.

The UPS man honked his horn - after I saw him.

I'm sorry I startled you UPS man, but let me reassure you. After struggling to keep my break up drama free, getting creamed by a UPS truck would not have made my day. If I'm going to try for some drama I can think of numerous more satisfying scenes to make. Not one of them would involve looking for a replacement vehicle. Cars cost money y'all.

The Swinger's Big Plans

The Swinger has the weekend booked off. It will be like a vacation for the rest of us.

He's got some big plans for his weekend off though. Now keep in mind that I had zero foresight on the huge amount of potential this guy had for blog material. Stupid me, I told him to keep his sexcapades to himself. So all my intel is second hand.

Yesterday someone told me all about him telling them all about his plans to spend the weekend partying with Ron Jeremy. That would be Ron Jeremy the porn star. So I said "well wait a minute - didn't that guy have an aneurysm or something?"

Holy shit I've got to Google this - finally I can prove this guy is full of it. Bullshitters bug me. It's like they're saying "you look stupid so let me string you a line."

Only when I got home, I couldn't remember "Ron Jeremy" was the name of the guy I wanted to Google. I Googled "fat hairy porn star" and got nothing that triggered my memory. Thankfully, no images burned into my retinas either. Then I remembered the name Ron. So I added that to my search string and found out that Ron Jeremy had been cleared by his doctors to resume sex.

I thought all was lost in proving The Swinger to be full of shit. Until I heard today's story - secondhand of course.

I guess now his birthday plans include visiting Ron Jeremy in the hospital.

So I Googled that aging porn star again at lunch. Now according to TMZ as of February 22nd, Ron Jeremy is healthy and hale and has his Doctor's clearance to pump away.

It's not 100% proof that The Swinger is full of shit, but I think if Ron Jeremy was in the hospital, the media would know.

PS UPS needs to paint their trucks a different color. I mean I know they're pretty big and all but that brown color kind of blends. I think they should go to a school bus yellow. It would complement the brown uniforms and be a lot easier to see.

PPS If Ron Jeremy is getting action there is hope for all the short fat hairy men out there.

PPPS The Swinger needs to make better use of Google so his bullshit is based on recent news.