I'm glucose intolerant
The first was having a guy tell me he couldn't eat fruit because he was glucose intolerant. So then later I asked him if he wanted some donuts.
Because I wanted those fuckers gone before I got stupid and ate another one!
When I remembered the whole "glucose intolerant" thing and mentioned it his response was - I can eat donuts as long as they don't have fruit.
Facepalm. Dude, you need to quit looking at porn on the internet and Google glucose intolerance. Either you have it and you don't know how to eat properly, or you're full of shit and you just get the runs from fruit.
It happens sometimes - take some Immodium and you'll be fine.
You need to have a talk with your boys
Remember how I was bitching about the bathrooms reeking of piss? Well yesterday I walked into the bathroom and smelled piss. So of course I went to flush the urinal. That's when I realized I was actually smelling the puddle of piss under the urinal.
That's right - a puddle.
So I broke the bad news to the janitor. He told me I needed to "talk to my boys". Because lets face it after teaching the two assholes I gave birth too that pissing on the floor isn't cool, I really want to instruct a bunch of grown men on the art of peeing standing up.
Now boys, you can go to the washroom when you need to. No need to wait until things are so urgent you can't aim properly.
As if!
Join me for Weekend Funnies #6. Rules and info can be found here
If anyone can teach them how to use a urinal properly, I have faith that you can!! :D
ReplyDeleteOh I could totally shame them into doing things right - actually me walking through bitching loudly about the puddle of pee under the urinal may have done that.
Delete(brushes off hands) Whelp, my work here is done.
If you do have that conversation with them ... can you at least video tape it? Seriously, I'd love to hear that one!
ReplyDeleteI'll try to sneakily turn on the voice recorder on my phone - just for you.
DeleteThat would be a very amusing conversation to hear! LOL! Maybe you should throw some cheerios in the urinal for them to target practice with!
ReplyDeleteI did mention to the janitor that sometimes a decal of a fly on the bottom of the urinal will encourage better aim.
DeleteI get to teach some of my preschoolers how to use the urinal (which is a pretty good trick, considering I don't really know what I'm doing there). If you need me to come treat your male co-workers like 5 year olds, let me know. I might even adopt Chrystal's method with the Cheerios....
ReplyDeleteAnytime - it would be far more entertaining than doing it myself. I'm considering making it a part of my Health & Safety mini talk I'm supposed to give on slips and falls. Because nothing would be worse than slipping and falling in a puddle of pee.
DeleteI feel your pain. As HR Manager I had to make a sign explaining urinal etiquette in 3 different languages, English, Spanish and Vietnamese. Technically I only wrote the English and got help on the other two.
ReplyDeleteThe women just had battles via post it notes left on the stall walls.
We have one on hand washing, and proper disposal of toilet paper - in English, German and Spanish.
Deletebwa ha ha! yup, it was on proper disposal of toilet paper. Computer Industry, tomato packing, who knew they both involved the same mentality :)
Delete