J: I just found this on the floor - somebody could have really hurt themselves on that.
He then presented me with a nail. Kind of like a finishing nail. One of those headless nails that could be as long and wicked looking as you want, but unless it's sticking out of a piece of wood it's harmless because it can't stand up on it's own.
Me: Right, somebody could really hurt themselves stepping on a nail lying on it's side.
Thankfully J had walked away and didn't hear me.
K: It's a good thing you don't make a habit of saying what you're really thinking.
There was some heavy sarcasm there. I laughed about it and started trying to edit my thoughts before they came out of my mouth.
Let's call that an epic fail.
Remember washroom B with it's malfunctioning paper towel dispenser? After pushing the lever at least 50 times I had an entire 2 inches of paper towel. I came storming out and grabbed a foot or so off of the roll sitting on the janitor's cart.
Which would have been fine, except the janitor saw me and could tell I was frustrated. Do you think? There was probably a damned thunder cloud over my head with lightning bolts spelling out "Danger - Stay Clear!" So he started apologizing profusely about the paper towel dispenser.
In other words he was apologizing because I was being a bitch. So I went up to my office where I may or may not have bawled a little bit and got my composure back.
I wish I could have kept it for longer than five minutes. Today was destined to be one of those days where I cringed every damn time I opened my mouth.
My Brain: Don't say it, don't say it -
My Mouth: Looking at those fake fingernails makes me want to vomit. It's like someone stuck a fake fingernail on a toe.
My Brain: Would you just STFU mouth - you sound like an obnoxious bitch. You are being an asshole again.
The entire day went like that. It's pretty bad when you're so bitchy you don't even want to be around you.
Can I have a do-over?
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PMS'ing? I hate those days when I can't even stand myself. Have a cocktail and call it a day.
ReplyDeleteI'm a few ahead of you on the cocktails. ;-)
DeleteI've had days like that, they suck. I vote for a bottle of wine and an early bedtime :)
ReplyDeleteIt really is the only option some days.
DeleteMy brain does the same thing on those days. Like remember that roommate you had at one point that was really non confrontational, and was always saying things like 'calm down' and 'maybe you should just, think this through a bit more?' That is what my brain does. Annnddd just like that roommate I tell it to shut up and continue on being an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with the brain, I just wish the damn mouth would stop or at least listen to the brain.
DeleteHa ha, I thought I was the only one who got sick of their own self! I don't always spew things out of my mouth, but just thinking them annoys the crap out of me!
ReplyDeleteHope tomorrow's better :)
I wish I was better at not spewing. I would prefer to be one of those rational level headed people.
DeleteAt least your brain is actually doing it's job & being the smart one in the conversation. When I'm impaired for whatever reason, I can't really rely on him for direction.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, my brain is producing all together too much snarky and snide at the moment.
DeleteWe'll know it's really bad when you start saying the things you are thinking! Here is hoping you have a good next few days!
ReplyDeleteIf I ever started saying everything I was thinking nobody would ever speak to me again.
DeleteOh, I hate days like that. Happens to all of us. What's awful is that, when you're having one of those days, you can't stop it even when you KNOW you should.
ReplyDeleteIn your defense, that paper towel thing sounds REALLY irritating!!
It's a terrible thing when you know you shouldn't say it even as you're saying it.
DeleteThere are days when not only do I say stupid crap, I tend to do it loudly and usually at inanimate objects - I would have totally ripped that paper towel dispenser a new butt hole. So, you know, it could have been worse.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great, mouth/brain simpatico weekend!
The paper towel dispenser was replaced the next day - finally! As for the mouth/brain simpatico - I just avoided talking to anyone for the most part.
DeleteI hate it when I cant even tolerate myself. I have to constantly reinforce the filter between my brain and mouth.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of been one of those I want to shed my skin kind of weeks.
Delete