fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: And Then I Almost Shot A Noodle Out Of My Nose.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

And Then I Almost Shot A Noodle Out Of My Nose.

Last night at the boyfriends "the boys" prepared our dinner. His son and my youngest.

By prepared dinner, I mean grudgingly cooked hot dogs and Kraft Dinner at 10pm. Asshat #2 also sliced up some Polish Sausage.

Asshat#2: Hey Mom, want some Polish Sausage?

Which he knows will never happen - I don't do carnivore so my only answer was a disgusted look.

Asshat#2: This Polish Sausage is good.

The Boyfriend: Oh, you like the Polish Sausage?

The boyfriend is part of a very big Polish family.  Any guesses what polish sausage is code for amongst the men of that family?

And of course I was reminded of the "sext" he sent me last year at this time.

Him: Have you had dinner yet?

Me: No, have you?

Him: I've got some polish sausage for you.

It was even less sexy delivered by a robotic female voice, because get this - he had sent his oh so witty sext to my landline. 

I came very close to shooting a Kraft Dinner noodle out of my nose last night.

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