Even cooler? I work with Hugh Jackman or the worlds biggest wolverine fan, take your pick.
When I first started my job, I saw this little guy riding around on a trike. A trike for grownups, but still it's a trike. Some of the supervisors get to ride them around since they literally have miles to cover in their jobs.
Once I convinced my inner 5 year old to stop laughing at the guy for riding a trike (my inner 5 year old is pretty damn immature) I noticed his wolverinish hair style a la Hugh Jackman wolverine. Not cartoon wolverine in his awesome blue spandex. Then I noticed the wolverinish side-burns.
For real - hair and sideburns. Only much smaller, and a lot less muscular. Like a Hugh Jackman mini-me. Cute, but not drool inspiring.
Then one morning I hear this story of how Wolverine Mini-me was out camping and somehow cut himself. Supposedly passed out and everything.
Did I mention I tend to think in bitch? Okay then. First thought that pops into my head? This video Asshat #1 showed me years ago with this guy dressed up like Wolverine. Fake claws and everything, jumping off his mom's porch railing. I looked and I can't find the video* or I would share it. Asshat #1 finds all the weird stuff on the internet.**
So now I have a mental image of Wolverine Mini-me, out camping in the woods somewhere dressed up as... well duh! Wolverine. Again, did I mention I think in bitch? The first thought in my head?
I bet he cut himself with his fake claws.
At least Wolverine Mini-me is nice - strange - but nice. I can't say the same for The Swinger, he's just strange. The Swinger needs a spanking. Only not the real-deal ass-paddling because I'm convinced that would be a turn-on for him.
*If anyone knows what I'm talking about here - please send me the link so I can add it to this post.
** I learned years ago, when Asshat #1 says Hey Mom, come look at this! just don't. Two words - Goatse Ball.
Oh, LAWD!! I bet he DID cut himself with fake claws!! Bwahahaha! (I'm totally fluent in bitchthink myself) You do have awesome co-workers even though I was disappointed that booty call Craig didn't really work there.
ReplyDeleteI work with some characters that's for sure!
DeleteDid he pass out because he lost a lot of blood or because he fainted at the sight of blood. I can't laugh at him until I know which. Anyway, it's good that you find hairy guys attractive. It means you're in touch with your inner ape.
ReplyDeleteHugh Jackman only has a hairy face. Body hair hits up my gag reflex every time, so I guess that means I'm not very in touch with my inner ape. Sorry, I was so transfixed by the mental image of him out in the bush wearing fake claws that I missed the part of the story where they said why he passed out.
DeleteMaybe you really do work with Hugh Jackman.. They say stars are much shorter in person. ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe, but if it really is Hugh Jackman, his sex appeal is a lot smaller in real life too.
DeleteYeah... I had a friend who taught me that lesson too... 3 words... Cellophane Crap Pants... *shudder*
ReplyDeleteI'm not looking up yours - trust me, don't look up mine. Double shudder.
DeleteI bet he took his trike camping too.
ReplyDeleteIt would be cute if he did, but trust me those things are monitored like they're Lamborghini's or something.
DeleteYour job is the greatest source of hilarious blog posts! Seriously. You could never make that up.
ReplyDeleteStacie, I actually tone it down! There are times I wish I was making this stuff up.
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