Breastfeeding - It's The Best Revenge

I breastfed both of my babies, way back when they were babies. Please - hold the applause though. If I hadn't they likely would have both starved.

I've always been a bit of a ditz, but let me tell you pregnancy brain did me no favors. I breastfed so I couldn't leave the bottles at home or forget to buy formula. For the same reason, there was always diapers tucked away here and there like a squirrel hiding nuts for a winters day.

There are benefits to nursing that people forget to tell you.

For starters there's some irrefutable excuses that go along with nursing babies.

When you're caught napping.

Uuh no I wasn't sleeping, I was just feeding the baby. It's more comfortable when we're both laying down. 

When your husband walks in the door and there's no dinner and last nights dishes haven't been done. 

Sorry, but the baby must be having a major growth spurt - he nursed all day.

Who's going to be insensitive enough to call bullshit on you? I mean you ARE nursing a baby.

Then there's the fact that I never had to get up in the middle of the night. Not once. I took both my babies to bed with me and just as I can hit the snooze button a bajillion times without ever completely waking up, I could switch that baby from side to side.

I don't think either one of them ever cried at night - as soon as their little mouths started rooting around mommy instinct did the rest. At least I assume it was mommy instinct - it's not like I was awake to tell you about it.

The best part about nursing though comes when they are teenagers driving you bonkers, because you get to totally gross out your kids by reminding them they were breastfed.

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