fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: Breastfeeding - It's The Best Revenge

Friday, January 25, 2013

Breastfeeding - It's The Best Revenge

I breastfed both of my babies, way back when they were babies. Please - hold the applause though. If I hadn't they likely would have both starved.

I've always been a bit of a ditz, but let me tell you pregnancy brain did me no favors. I breastfed so I couldn't leave the bottles at home or forget to buy formula. For the same reason, there was always diapers tucked away here and there like a squirrel hiding nuts for a winters day.

There are benefits to nursing that people forget to tell you.

For starters there's some irrefutable excuses that go along with nursing babies.

When you're caught napping.

Uuh no I wasn't sleeping, I was just feeding the baby. It's more comfortable when we're both laying down. 

When your husband walks in the door and there's no dinner and last nights dishes haven't been done. 

Sorry, but the baby must be having a major growth spurt - he nursed all day.

Who's going to be insensitive enough to call bullshit on you? I mean you ARE nursing a baby.

Then there's the fact that I never had to get up in the middle of the night. Not once. I took both my babies to bed with me and just as I can hit the snooze button a bajillion times without ever completely waking up, I could switch that baby from side to side.

I don't think either one of them ever cried at night - as soon as their little mouths started rooting around mommy instinct did the rest. At least I assume it was mommy instinct - it's not like I was awake to tell you about it.

The best part about nursing though comes when they are teenagers driving you bonkers, because you get to totally gross out your kids by reminding them they were breastfed.


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14 comments:

  1. Haha, LOVE it!! Seriously, favorite Theme Thursday BF post!!

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    1. Thank you. It's been a few years since I had the pleasure, but I still remember those naps. Best naps ever!

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  2. Those are great points. I sure could use a nap, and an excuse not to clean... Do you think 4 is too old for me to start breast feeding?

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    1. Probably. That and the ick factor might be a little high. But you could just pretend he wants you to nap with him, who cares if he's playing lego or something - you still get a nap. Does he have a comfy bed?

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  3. Oh, thank you for the teenager revenge!! I'm so going to use the breastfeeding line on my 17 year old son who came home with a hickey on his neck. I'll embarrass him so much that no chick will ever want to go out with him again. Best birth control evah!!!!

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    1. I can get actual shudders out of mine - just by bringing it up.

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  4. OMG, that's so funny, I'd forgotten all of those perks! I used then all, and will enjoy the gross factor when he's a teen! I don't know about you, I also used it to get out of entertaining, oh sorry the baby's hungry and teething I'll be in his room nursing...leaving the hubby alone with whoever....

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    1. I use to do that too, especially if we were at the in laws.

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  5. I've have GOT to gross my 13 year old son out with a breastfeeding reminder...he gets so disgusted/embarrassed by shit like that, so it's perfect!!!lololol

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    1. Any time you can gross out one of your progeny it's a win.

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  6. My sister-in-law just had a baby 4 days ago. When we left the visit I told my almost 13 year old son all about how great it was to breast feed him, he was so grossed out. He grosses me out so often, turn about is fair play.

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  7. I used to take the baby upstairs to nurse her to sleep and then hide in my room with my Kindle while she slept on the boppy after she was done. I would stay up there for a good hour before I would put her in the crib and go downstairs. Loved those days...

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    1. Anytime you can grab some me time is a good time is my motto.

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