After 21 years of parenting (22 if you include the ex who was the first fledgeling to
I know it isn't right or fair, but after all of that prior practice he's the one who really took all of my parenting experience and applied it - instead of totally ignoring me and learning everything the hard way.
He always gets along with others and is careful to entertain any doggy or people guests. He never goes in his crate and plays video games leaving his guests bored and uncomfortable. He is sure to spend time with each and every guest and has no problem letting them know he loves them all.
When I walk into the house after a hard day of working to keep kibble on the table, he lavishes me with affection instead of asking if I went 20 minutes out of my way to stand in line for half an hour at Walmart and buy him a new set of headphones.
He self taught himself that vomiting on the carpet is unacceptable before he was one. That's right - my dog asks to go outside if he's gonna spew. I've had an eight year old two legged child stare at their own vomit on the carpet in total disbelief. Like you didn't know your stomach was upset? Come on, even the dog knows when he's gonna spew.
He feels no need to leave his poo on display for the next visitor to the facilities. He is always discreet about these things and uses the back yard where nobody else really goes. (Sorry neighbors, I'll get out there and clean that up as soon as it gets a little warmer.)
He never hogs the bathroom nor does he drain my hot water tank taking endless showers. If he happens to be catching a drink at that giant doggy dish and I want to use it to pee, he's more than willing to step aside. The Asshats just lock the door and pretend they can't hear me.
He never bitches about which kibble I buy, instead grateful just to have some. I'm pretty sure the Asshats have never shown half the excitement over a meal that the dog does. The dog also never stands in front of the fridge waiting for the fridge genie to magically supply whatever vague something he wants. I have never once heard the dog say There's never anything good to eat in this house!
Can anyone really blame me for having a favorite?
Like Me On Facebook!
This post is a part of Theme Thursday - stop by and check it out!
You got a winner. My dog rides the short bus. Not much between the ears unfortunately. She pukes on the carpet, sniffs it, eats it, and then looks up at you likes she's pleased as punch.
ReplyDeleteBut she cleaned up after herself right?
DeleteTrust me, I get the whole dogs are gross thing and I've experienced the worst of it first hand.
I constantly remind my human boy that the cats were my first babies. As in, "They were here before you; show some respect!"
ReplyDeleteI do think cats are great with young kids - most of them have infinite hiding places for when they don't want to be bothered and they are shockingly sturdy for such small animals.
DeleteHaving kids is like having dogs and I'm pretty sure almost all dogs follow the rules/learn the lessons long before any kids. :) I have 4 and it's so funny, each one of them has this totally different idea of who the "favorite" is.. I don't know any parent who can pick a favorite, all of them make me proud, all of them at some point have been hit with the stupid stick but they're all wonderfully good and kind people. I wish I could say my dog follows the rules and learns the lessons, unfortunately I think she's too much like her owner. ;)
ReplyDeleteI just have the two boys plus the boyfriends - a girl and a boy (but only every other weekend when I'm at his house). They are all equal parts awesome and occasional awesome stupidity, but I wouldn't give up a single one.
DeleteWho's my favorite generally depends on who has done their chores! ;-)
LOL! Hilarious!!!! I don't have a dog (just 5 kids and a hubby who could easily qualify as #6). Perhaps I should get one!
ReplyDeleteWell sure, but I think you might just be adding to the chaos! ;-)
DeleteI can totally see why he's your favorite ;) Love this post!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Dogs are a lot easier - no worrying about their "character" and since you expect to have them for the rest of their lives there's no trying to prep them for the big bad world.
DeleteI used to be 100% a dog person. Because of life with a very active, tantrum-prone toddler, now I'm afraid that even my low-stress dog is too much for me. Now my cat -- who doesn't require walks, never barks, and doesn't try to snatch food from my son -- is my favorite. My dog is super easy though generally. But I would argue that even a low-maintenance dog can be tough with a toddler.
ReplyDeleteThey really are if you've already got your hands full.
DeleteGreat post! I love dogs. Instead, I have 4 cats -- don't get me wrong, I love them, too, but sometimes it seems as though I have perpetual toddlers around me. Ha!
ReplyDeleteEvery cat I've ever had has been a major drama queen.
DeleteCute dog!! And funny, funny post - I wish my kids learned as fast as our dogs have!
ReplyDeleteThey never do - it sure would be nice though!
DeleteGreat post. I have favorites as well...
ReplyDeleteI have favorites. It changes all the time and generally it's the one who most recently actually did something I asked them to do.
DeleteI have two boys, ages 7 years, and 9 months. I had a Bassett hound who listened... But when we downsized into an apartment, we kept my fiance's beagle and my dog went to a knew home. His breath is going to kill the kids, I believe, and it seems as though I'm the only one he doesn't listen to. Fiance works 2nd shift 14 hours at a time, so all day every day its Poop Machine 1 sit down! Poop Machine 2 do you need a nappy? And then the endless stream of Benny sit, Benny come here, Benny no, Benny don't eat that, Dammit Benny shut up....
ReplyDeleteI had a beagle before this dog. I wouldn't do it again on a dare, I don't care how sweet the puppies look.
Delete