Of course my mother claims I was a strange child from the start. Something about being the only pre-schooler on earth who liked to play in their bedroom. Probably I was just traumatized by being plopped in my highchair with a coloring book and crayons while my parents slipped off for a quickie. True story.
Thanks mom! You warped me for life and there wasn't even a seatbelt on that high chair. What if I had fallen out and banged my head while you were getting banged?
I'm sure it all started back in Grade 1.
Grade 1 was the year that everyone was picking on Kelly. Kelly ate chalk. Which sure it's a little odd but is it odd enough to be worthy of a shunning? In the collective 6 year old mind that was my class, everyone decided we should put our lunchboxes up on their end and block her from our sight. There was also something about keeping the dreaded cooties away.
I went along with it for a while - it was the collective 6 year old brain doing the thinking at that point. Then one day I happened to actually look at her and see how sad she was. I put my lunch box down. After that I got a good taste of what it was like to have people blocking you with their lunch boxes. It did add a challenge to the collective 6 year old mind though, since one lunch box isn't really big enough to shun two children at the same time.
I think Kelly was grateful for all of a week. Then she decided I was too much of a social outcast to be friends with. I guess there's a mentality there that says if all the social outcasts hang together they make a bigger target. So instead they scatter - and let me tell you there is no mean girl meaner than one who is as much of an outcast as you are.
This doesn't happen to boys though. Even that chubby boy who sometimes smelled like manure had people to hang out with at school. Boy social outcasts are only mean to the girl social outcasts.
Most recesses I would try to find a quiet corner somewhere that I could sit and read my book - because the damn teachers wouldn't let me hide indoors and read in comfort. One time a mean girl found me and spit chewed up banana in a circle around me.
I think she was a social outcast herself because she had the biggest ass I've ever seen. Extreme pear shape - have fun buying jeans that fit for the rest of your fucking life. She deserves it. Plus I kind of think her mom was a hoarder - way back before the show was on. So she wouldn't have had any way of knowing there were others out there just like her. The hoarder part not the huge ass part.
Out in the working world, those
These days, I've got a couple of great friends. They might not always get me - but that's okay.
Girls (and sadly women, too) can be vicious. I just don't get why. There are women at my work that constantly talk about other women, and I can't stand it. I went out with them a few times when I started, but quickly realized we were not a good match. That's awful if your boss is that way! Hopefully she will be mature enough to focus on your work, and not give you trouble. Obviously, I don't know you in real life, but what I do know of you, I like :)
ReplyDeleteUsually I try to find some sort of common ground and then build that into a working relationship.
DeleteWho knows, maybe it will be just fine and I'm worried about nothing.
I loved that. Damn those boys that smelled like manure! I have to admit 2 things:
ReplyDelete1. There was a girl in kindergarten a few of us picked on because she kinda looked like she'd had a frontal lobe lobotomy. I know we didn't get that at the time, but we knew something was "off". Sorry, Fiona, wherever you are.
2. I'm mildly jealous of those "put together" women because no matter what I do, it will never be me -- but then I remember that most of them have something serious off about them, either a husband who is mean or a mother in law who makes them want to drink, etc.
Whatever, I do have a pretty purse though.
I have very rarely thought I looked good. Then twenty minutes later I look as rumpled as an unmade bed again. I have no idea what happens, but I chalk it up to never meant to be.
DeleteYou do have a very pretty purse.
I've done the school yard wander myself -- where you try to appear like you're moving around with a sense of purpose, trying to waste up as much of recess as possible ("Oh I just remembered I have a very important appointment over at the rear basketball courts") but in reality you have no friends.
ReplyDeleteIt was justice for my collusion in the collective teasing of Alan "Poo-hands" Atkins.
I hope Alan wasn't called poo hands for the reason I'm thinking.
DeleteMost of my friends were guys until I was 30. So, I get that. But what I learned when we moved to NJ is that boys can be mean too. My older son started in a new HS and he had to deal with some "girl behavior" coming from guys. Now, it's fine. He moved on to another group where the kids are nice. But geez. Overally, the boys are usually luckier, I agree.
ReplyDeleteI think they are. I know the youngest has had to deal with it a little bit - but it's reaches that same level of nasty that girls are more than happy to dish out.
DeleteAs a male social outcast I learned to be a proper chameleon and blend in just enough so the cool kids hardly zeroed in on me. Just like you said, the only one who did was another outcast who wasn't as good as adapting. To save himself, he constantly drew attention to me so they wouldn't pick on him.
ReplyDeleteI still don't like him.
I don't socialize with anybody I went to school with. I do like it when they try to friend me on Facebook. I may have mostly moved on from those days, but I have not forgotten and I'm really not interested in their status updates.
DeleteMy vagina and I both apologise if we're making you nervous. We didn't mean to.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! On line interactions are so much easier for me. Because I feel more free to be completely honest, I assume the people I'm interacting with do as well.
DeleteI also find the blogging community to be much more supportive than say - high school.
I have mostly gotten along better with guys anyway. I was never a "clique" type person & I have always worn what I want, no matter what the style is. Office politics suck, in general & adding catty women to the mix makes it nearly impossible to do anything.
ReplyDeleteIt is, however, wonderful to find people who understand & feel the same way. It just seems that I ones I find happen to be bloggers ;) I believe we are a special bunch. (emphasis on "special"...LOL)
My dream job would be one where I could work from home and choose who I interact with in person. I have a great phone voice and sound way more put together than I really am!
DeleteWhen you work from home, as long as you "sound" put together, that's all that matters ;)
DeleteLong sigh, my life long dream.
DeleteI wasn't mistreated (MUCH) in school, but was ignored. I did my best to blend in and just prayed no one noticed me, because when they did, it usually wasn't good. So, I relate.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as an adult, I have totally come out of my shell and act like an attention starved lunatic most of the time.
There are times when being ignored really isn't such a bad thing.
DeleteI'm still pretty introverted, I kind of grew to like my own company. As an added benefit I rarely offend myself or create awkward silences in my head by saying something inappropriate.
I was one of those, too.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like there are a lot more of us than I ever thought.
Delete