NotSoMuch Asshat wasn't home, so it was just me and the Numero Uno Asshat for dinner. I offered to cook pasta. I'm easy like that, easy like Sunday Morning.
Numero Uno Asshat is good with pasta - anything he doesn't have to cook himself because he's finally learning that PB&J tastes great if someone else makes it. I couldn't be prouder! But, he doesn't want the pasta I have on hand - and yes of course it all tastes different.
He's going out for a bit so he offers to stop at the grocery store and pick up some pasta. Which, since I'm hungry now and a wee bit thirsty sounds good to me. So I asked him to pick up some bread too, since you know, my debit card is dead and I used the last of my cash to get pop to go with my whiskey.
Numero Uno Asshat arrives home a couple of hours later and says Did you know bread costs three fucking dollars a loaf?
I came really close to pissing myself laughing. Really close.
Gotta learn the value of a dollar somehow hey?
ReplyDeleteOr lack of value once you start buying food.
DeleteBwahahahhaaa! The price of milk will send them into conniptions!
ReplyDeleteI know! And he wonders why I won't always buy the expensive stuff he likes.
DeleteThat's a dude for you. I do my mom's grocery shopping for her every week, and my stepdad flipped his shit when he had to buy something to take to work for a potluck. He came to appreciate my coupon clipping and shopping and never bitches about how much they spend every week anymore. They have to learn for themselves...
ReplyDeleteCan you even imagine the first time he has to buy himself a weeks worth of groceries? I bet concentrate OJ becomes damn well good enough then!
DeleteOMG this is SO FUNNY!!! It *is* very different when you are paying for it yourself, isn't it! Oh, lawd! What about a box of non-generic labeled cereal? It's all a rude awakening! hahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteYou almost have to be willing to sell your first born to get name brand cereal! What about peanut butter?
DeleteI have to admit that I have been sitting here for a full hour reading your blog...I love it, by the way!! I recently had the pleasure and heartache of my eldest(if I may borrow the term) Asshat and his fiance getting their own apartment. The boy barely managed a twinge as he payed up for the lease, utilities, all the deposits and expenses that go along with renting. I was really proud of how he accepted these responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteThen the boy says, "Mom, will you help us shop for groceries?" Let's just say, I heard a lot of, "why do we need that?" As the cart begin to fill, the boy began to sweat. By the time we got in line to check-out, he was in full blown panic attack. I thought he would hyperventilate prior to the cashier hitting the total button. Being the wise mother that I am, I had taken him to the bargain grocery. The damage to his wallet was only $160.00. Finally, the boy understands that the milk that he loves to drink by the gallon, cost four fucking dollars a gallon! I may be a bad Mom after all, because, after all those years of my kids asking for junk food I couldn't afford, I laughed right out loud at the boy when he paid for his first grocery shop!!!
Having someone tell me they just spent an hour reading my blog is wonderful.
DeleteI'm completely picturing mine when he finally moves out on his own. The groceries are going to kill him. That boy has some expensive taste buds.