fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: Bleeding Brakes And A Box Of Twine

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Bleeding Brakes And A Box Of Twine

Asshat #1 has a new girlfriend. So far all I know about her is she has tiny feet and the mouth of a Lamprey Eel. The first week he was seeing her he had a severe case of ring around the neck. Then he proceeded to walk through the house one night without a shirt on. How low do those hickeys go? TMI!

Someday I might meet her. For now he's avoiding it. Something about my bestie knowing everyone in town and liking to gossip a tiny bit.

The Boyfriend is working on my brakes. It is within his abilities - a broken brake line. So we'll have a good ole time in the mancave tonight. If you call a good time bleeding brakes. If you've never had the pleasure it's comparable to doing calf raises - for three straight hours. Which kind of makes us even in the sexual favors owed department - yes? Not that I'm trying to back out - just make things more equitable.

Oh and remember that box of twine? I pulled it out of the car last night and the boyfriend is totally coveting my twine. See - I told you twine was some useful shit.

It's a lot of twine.


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Also in the interests of full disclosure - I am dating the most awesome man on earth. This is an actual text convo we had today about my brakes. 

Me: How are you making out?

Him: Ok.

Me: I was going to stop on my way home to help but I had a coughing fit. I have to go home and change my pants first.

Him: Ok. You need brake fluid.

6 comments:

  1. Guys always have a use for twine.. What's with that?? And you're right. He is awesome.. No mention of the coughing fit or why you needed to change your pants, just, "You need break fluid." Hahaha.. He's def a keeper! :)

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    Replies
    1. I think it's because he's from a big family. Being raised with seven sisters has got to prepare a guy for almost anything.

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  2. You're so lucky to have a BF who can fix things like brake lines!

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    Replies
    1. He's cute and handy, I think I'll keep him around. ;-)

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  3. Replies
    1. He's always so matter of fact about all of these things. Which is very cool.

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