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| Don't worry about those missed calls. You'll understand in a minute. |
Really? Does that thing actually support text messaging?
My Brain: You might be able to text on that thing, but I am most certainly not going to be.
Then the fun started. Apparently the number I got has been around the block a few times.
First there was Craig. I've never met Craig, but he gets a lot of booty calls. He also gets a lot of booty calls via text. And he gets wake-up calls from obnoxious friends on Sunday mornings. Craig also owes money on his furniture and as of early October was late with his payments.
I mentioned that I was getting a lot of booty calls on my work phone to some of my co-workers before I knew Craig's name.. They each had me call them so they could search their directory and see who had the phone previous to me.
Turns out it was a brand new (to the company) number. If you ask me, that number was a bit shop-worn.
Most of my co-workers could not understand why I wouldn't play around and have some fun with the booty call texts. Again - you might be able to text on that, but I most certainly won't.
Around the end of October it was Jenna. I know even less about Jenna, but she seems to have abused my cell phone number the longest. First there were the calls from a cable company looking to confirm an installation time.
Most recently there was a call from the police. I didn't answer, because the number was unknown. People who know me know that I hate phone calls and will never answer unknown numbers. If I were being truthful I really only reliably answer calls from my Mom and the Boyfriend.
I did call the cops back and let them know they had the wrong number. They didn't dish any details though. Hello people I have a blog - I need details so I can spew them over the internet!
The latest abuser of my cell phone number is Elizabeth. I know nothing at all about Elizabeth except that her gramma is trying to call her. Shame on you for giving your grandmother a fake phone number!
Craig - I hope you practice safe sex, I would hate for your pecker to fall off. You might want to start paying for your furniture too.
Jenna - I'm really sorry the cable company never hooked up your internet. They didn't leave a call back number. If you happen to want your business with the cops all over the internet, email me the details. I'd be happy to oblige.
Elizabeth - for Christ's sakes, call your gramma!
GAHHHHH!!! I had something like this happen, too. Danny the Roofer gave my number out as his own and swore the phone company gave him that number. Danny apparently had a side job selling drugs as well. It took weeks to straighten it out.
ReplyDeleteI'm just waiting to see who my number supposedly belongs to next!
DeleteToo bad the cops were not more forthcoming...
ReplyDeleteIt could have been a great blog post. Now we'll never know.
DeleteThankfully, I have always been able to get the company to kick a few bucks in to cover my phone, thus not having to carry two phones. Apparently, this doesn't give me the pleasure of other people's calls!
ReplyDeleteWG
Even if they offered I wouldn't take it. I like knowing I can turn work off and still be reachable.
DeleteHaha, so funny :) I've had that happen before, but not going on for so long!
ReplyDeleteOh, but wait, how do you know that Craig, Jenna and Elizabeth aren't actually your multiple personalities? That would be way cool! :)
If I were Craig, my standards for sexting would be much higher. Plus, if I'm Craig, where's my damn new furniture?
DeleteHaha that is SOO annoying. Ooof.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth's gramma called while I was trying to eat lunch. Twice.
Delete$300 for that???? You better not lose it! We had a number like that once. People kept asking to speak (I guess) to this or that person -- in another language. Other people called to yell about their kids because they thought we were a school. Nothing quite as interesting as Craig, though.
ReplyDeleteI live in fear of losing it. I could buy myself a super nice smart phone for that much money. With change.
DeleteIt would be so much worse to have people yelling at me about their kids!
My land-line often gets mistaken for a bank. You would be amazed at how many people leave detailed (as in I could probably clean out their account if I were so inclined) information on my voice mail.
BWahahahahahaha!!! I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. Then I read it out loud to my husband and he got hysterical, too!!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!!! SO FUNNY!!!
Thank you! I aim to amuse!
DeleteWhen I worked at a car dealership, the number was very close to a taxicab company & to a place that sells furs. I had a lot of fun answering the phones, especially with the cab company...lol!
ReplyDeleteSee now I'm really thinking I've missed the boat on playing with these people, but damn I hate talking on the phone. And I really hate texting without a full qwerty keyboard. Even for the fun I could have had as Craig.
DeleteWow, that's nuts. I've had a few stray calls in my day, but nothing like this. There is no way that phone is worth $300. You can get a high-end smart phone for that much. I share your disdain for unknown numbers. That's the surest way for me to not answer the phone. Good luck with the Dudette III challenge!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the value of the phone. Maybe it costs more to replace an obsolete phone?
DeleteMy son got a hand-me-down phone from AT&T that didn't have anything wiped out. Hilarious stuff.
ReplyDeleteI would have had fun with the whole Craig thing, for sure. Like you, I don't answer calls if I don't know the number. I'm not a phone person at all. What's so wrong with grandma that she doesn't get a callback? Fun, fun post.
Gramma seemed really sweet to me so I'm not sure why Elizabeth gave her the wrong number.
DeleteWe just got a new (to us) home phone number and as soon as it was hooked up we had three voicemail messages on it from various places. We've been getting calls from Nevada so I'm a little nervous it's a bookie or something trying to collect a debt.
ReplyDeleteThere really is a lot of phone number hanky panky happening isn't there?
DeleteWhat kind of fiend would give Gramma a fake number??
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed this post. :)
A very terrible person! Poor gramma was so concerned when I insisted she had the wrong number. I think she was worried I had Elizabeth locked in my basement.
DeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed yours too!
Amazing! I've never had that happen before. Maybe one caller looking for the previous person - but nothing nearly this interesting!
ReplyDeleteI've had the number since September. It's January now. And the calls, they keep coming.
DeleteI used to get calls on my old phone from dealers looking to make a...transaction. That was unsettling.
ReplyDeleteIt kind of makes me happy. I've had the same land line and cell phone number for years. Only the people I actually WANT to talk to have those numbers.
DeleteOutdated numbers are HILARIOUS as long as you are not the one being called. My work phone is a flip phone too, believe it or not. it likes to randomly snap photos of the inside of my pockets.
ReplyDeleteSo far no random pics. But I do look pretty wide hipped with a phone in each pocket.
DeleteThe entertainment value (and resulting blogability) of an old, very used phone number seems to far outweigh the inconvenience!
ReplyDeleteI think if you tried to text on that thing you might travel back in time.
For now! As long as I'm not still getting other peoples calls a year from now.
DeleteMaybe that's why it's worth $300? It's not a phone, it's a teleportation device.
LOL! My hubby has a recycled phone number, but he's had it for a year and he's still getting calls for Danielle. This week, she got calls from both the Police and the ob/gyn. I guess the cops wanna talk to her about her pap.
ReplyDeleteWell I hope the cops can track her down so she doesn't miss her annual lady parts check.
DeleteSounds like your work's phone has got an interesting past.
ReplyDeleteIt could become the starting point for a horror story - phone, traumatized by its past, begins to take revenge on new owner? I'd smash it up now, while you still have the chance!
I wonder if that story would get me out of the 300 dollar replacement cost?
DeleteMy hubby has to carry a company phone and has gotten some pretty crazy calls intended for the previous person carrying it. He normally ignores the numbers he don't recognize but the calls in the middle of the night will set him off like he has tourettes. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't answer the ones I don't know. This info all comes from voice mail - which tells you there is no reason to ever record an outgoing message because nobody listens to them.
DeleteI used to work for a cell phone company. When a number goes disconnected, it only sits for 90 days before it becomes eligible for use again. I have numbers in my contact list that I haven't called in over a year. When I do go to call someone, it happens a lot that the number has since moved to someone else. It is quite embarrassing sometimes.
ReplyDeleteRemember the old days, when you could dial a number wrong and nobody could use their call display to call you back? I miss those days.
DeleteI've had the same cell phone number for 10 years. I still give it out wrong about half the time.
I once received a text from someone that read "Bitch, I got your kid here. What kind of mother are you?"
ReplyDeleteI was momentarily stunned, but then looked at both of my kids in front of me and realized it wasn't me who lost a kid... this time.
I would have been looking to see if mine were with me as well!
DeleteWelcome to Dude Write,
ReplyDeleteWell, that's just crazy! I've had the same number as long as I've had a cell phone, so I've never experienced that.
That phone though! I was looking at some of the old phones that I had over the years. I don't even think that I could text on one of those anymore. Scrolling through 3 letters on every letter of every word! Insane.
I liked your post. :)
I know I can't text on one of those anymore. It doesn't matter that I managed before the qwerty keyboard - I just can't do it anymore. Where's the punctuation? What do you mean I'm out of characters. Even using t9 or whatever - still can't do it.
Delete