fR3jclIIszb96iOdpqMK80eDe-U My Half Assed Life: Mother Effing Hump Day

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Mother Effing Hump Day

Mother effing Hump Day - with nary a hump in sight.

Asshat #2 missed the bus - for the second time this week. Yep, that's right - twice in three days.

We're getting uniforms at work. Awesome - I don't have to see another effing pair of jeggings. For real, I like anything that makes it so I won't see camel-toe and asscrack. Except they're mother effing scrubs.

I hate scrubs. I can turn a tailored suit into an unmade bed in 30 minutes flat. Do you have any idea how much of a slob I'll look like by the end of a 14 hour shift wearing scrubs?

Oh and Mr. Recycle Man, with your itsy bitsy bladder? I am so glad that construction site had a conveniently placed porta-potty for your use. I didn't mind at all waiting behind your truck for you to hang a leak. I've got all the time in the world to eat lunch.

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8 comments:

  1. Yup. That pretty much sums up Wednesday.

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    1. It did get better after lunch, or at least it was downhill from there...

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  2. The good news about scrubs is that they are forgiving. You can eat that greasy cheeseburger and large fry for lunch and not have to worry about getting your pants zipped.

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    1. The bad news is they will always be snug through the hips and the crotch will be at knee level - just so you are guaranteed to split the ass or crotch right out of them.

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  3. I don't see anything wrong with camel toe. It proves you're dealing with a woman rather than a big-titted shemale.

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    1. There is absolutely nothing right about holy shit I can see your cellulite spandex, screen printed to look like distressed jeans. Nothing.

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  4. At least you are over the hump now - hopefully that doesn't mean it's all downhill from here! Wouldn't wearing scrubs be comfy, like sweat pants? Sounds better than business casual (although now that I'm a RHNJ, I wear workout clothes with occasional bling ;)

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    1. I have never been comfy in clothes that look sloppy before I even put them on. Not that I am by any stretch fashionable. I just happen to prefer pants with a button and a zipper. And pockets. Lots of pockets. The crotch in the right place instead of at my knees is kind of nice too.

      I'm gonna look like a people of walmart all day long six days a week.

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