AS IF!
It's winter right? I've lived through a few of 'em. And I've been driving for a few of 'em. Yet still I am always shocked to see frost on my windshield in the morning, usually as I am getting ready to leave my house at exactly the last possible minute.
This morning it was just a beautiful (my ass) lacy pattern on the windshield. So I grabbed my to-go cup from the passenger side floor and got my coffee ready. Of course I rinsed the cup first! I had to get yesterdays frozen coffee out of there somehow.
Then I tried to step into my car. Whereby my foot immediately hit the skating rink that was there. You know that snow, melt, snow, melt, repeat, fucking slab of ice that builds up on the floor-mat? Yeah, THAT one.
Now I'm doing the fucking splits as my ass plops down - hard - in the driver's seat. We're still cool though - I didn't piss my pants or spill my coffee and I avoided injuring any of my girl bits.
I can sort of see out of the lacy pattern of frost (if I stretch my neck out just so) so I back out of the driveway and almost make it as far as the neighbors. Then the moisture from my sopping wet hair and the steam from my coffee and breath form a solid fog of frozen mist on the inside of the windshield.
So then I sat, idling in front of the neighbors. Waiting for my defroster to do it's magic - or at least enough of it that I wouldn't wipe out the neighbors trash cans.
So suck it Old Man Winter - I'm already sick of your shit.
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ReplyDeleteI'll keep my eyes open for it!
DeleteOh, man! I'd been missing the real winters I always had growing up lately...but this puts that in perspective for me! You know, maybe I'm okay with my current "winter-ish temps but you really only need a thin jacket" climate after all!! Bravo for not spilling your coffee. That's a skill
ReplyDeleteNot spilling my coffee was an awesome to-go cup. Not peeing my pants was the real skil! ;-)
DeleteOmg.. You deserve an award for not peeing or spilling! You also deserve a flippin' auto start on your vehicle!
ReplyDeleteThe next vehicle is getting one for sure! That or a heated garages.
DeleteI cant stand the ice. I could live with snow, but not ice. Well done.
ReplyDeleteIcy parking lots and the penguin shuffle here we come.
DeleteI hate hate hate the winter when I have to deal with situations like this.
ReplyDeleteI probably would hate winter a whole lot less if my car were parked indoors at night.
DeleteThank you for stopping by. The cup took care of the coffee, I don't know how I managed the rest.
ReplyDeleteNow that would have made me even madder than potentially peeing my pants. I hate mending.
ReplyDeleteOmg that sounds awful :(
ReplyDeleteIt was NOT an enjoyable morning.
DeleteYou get the "Suck it, Old Man Winter" Award just for putting up with that crap. This makes me so thankful I live in Atlanta where we don't even know what snow is. Good luck with January!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with Finding the Funny!
Thank you for providing such a wonderful place to link. I discovered it through HTV, and was pleased to find so many new great blogs to read.
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